Written by Andre L Booysen
Though the definition of "working hard" has
changed considerably, the concept of hard work has always been fundamental
to manhood throughout eras. Although the tools, settings, and expectations have
changed, the burden is still very much the same for men today—possibly more so
than it was for their fathers or grandfathers.
Is the modern male really putting in more effort than men from former
generations?
Plenty of men are working harder than ever in terms of the
economy. Although new job categories and remote work options have been made
possible by innovations in technology, many people's incomes have remained
stagnant in comparison to cpi and the costs of living. For instance, since
the 1980s, the cost of housing, healthcare, and education have substantially
outpaced income growth in many Western economies. This means that to preserve
the middle-class lifestyle that their dads may have attained with a single
paycheck, today's men frequently need to work numerous jobs or pursue
ongoing extracurricular activities.
A stable employment with benefits has given way to a mixture
of employment insecurity and round-the-clock connectedness. The necessity for
ongoing networking and upskilling tasks that aren't measurable in hours
worked, demand a lot of mental and physical energy, has replaced job
stability.
The greater involvement of fathers in their children's life
is another characteristic that sets this generation apart from earlier ones.
Higher expectations for active parenting, household participation, and
emotional involvement are aspects of modern fatherhood. In contrast to the
past, when the ideal man would have devoted most of his time to earning a
living outside the home, today's father is frequently expected to attend
parent-teacher conferences, change diapers, and divide household chores while still
working.
This is work, but it's not necessarily a hardship. Time
management, emotional labor, and striking a work-life balance are all
difficult tasks. It calls for different kinds of sensitivity, patience, and
strength that were not as strongly entrenched in the previous generation.
In terms of mental health, it may be one of the most obvious
differences between generations. Even while men are talking more openly about
burnout, anxiety, and depression these days, they are still not receiving the
support they require. Even if it has decreased, the stigma still persists.
Emotional tiredness can result from social isolation, financial strain, and the
urge to "be everything to everyone."
The man of today is frequently torn between traditional
values and modern aspirations. Men were trained to suppress their emotions and
gauge their value by their production by traditional masculinity. Self-care and
emotional transparency are encouraged by new standards, but they don't
necessarily provide the institutional support required to make the change
long-lasting. Many men are stuck trying to change while being evaluated
using outdated standards of success.
Men today face a kind of identity crisis. The pressure
to succeed and comparisons are exacerbated by social media. Peer-curated lives,
the ideal figure, the successful career, the contented family, the balanced
lifestyle, become standards. The emotional impact of continuously failing in
the eyes of the internet is significant, even though the reality behind such
pictures is frequently chaotic.
Many males have also been compelled to reconsider their
social positions as a result of discussions about privilege and power. Some
find this enlightening and empowering, while others find it confusing. Men were
taught to respect "hard work," but navigating this terrain required
emotional labor, introspection, and frequently difficult self-reckoning.
Does the modern man put in more effort than his
predecessors? Maybe not always in an hourly or purely bodily sense. Average
work hours may be more flexible, and fewer males are performing manual labor.
However, the answer is yes when we expand the meaning of "work" to
encompass parenting, maintaining mental health, emotional labor, and
negotiating a social environment that is becoming more complicated.
The modern man may not be working twelve hours a day in a
factory, but he is still expected to be a good worker, a good father, a support
system for his partner and have healthy mind, although it's not quite as
difficult, it's still challenging. Perhaps more difficult...
Geskryf deur Andre L Booysen
“ ʼn man is nie ʼn klip nie.” – Dit is die gesegde wat die
tradisionele huisvrou destyds gebruik het om iemand te laat verstaan dat mans
altyd skoonheid sal raak sien, en dat hy altyd sal ingee tot sy natuurlike
drange of versoeking.
Dis vir hierdie rede dat vroue seker gemaak het om so veel as moontlik aan hul
mans se natuurlike ‘behoeftes’ te voorsien; sodat die getroude man dit op
ʼn ander plek sou gaan soek nie; Hetsy hierdie behoeftes in die slaapkamer,
eetkamer of buitemuurs was.
“My man is my rots” – dit is wat die moderne werkende vrou
sê. Dié gesegde beklemtoon die feit dat sy altyd op haar man kan staatmaak om
haar te ondersteun met alles wat sy aanpak. Sy hoef nie aan ál sy behoeftes te
voorsien nie want hy kan kosmaak, skoonmaak, pa wees, man wees en so af en die
huis-sielkundige ook.
Hy is ook in beheer van sy natuurlike drange; so selfs in die slaapkamer is hy
geduldig om te wag tot wanneer die intieme aktiwiteit plaasvind.
Wel, vir ʼn geruime tyd het ek my bedenkinge oor beide hierde
stellings; maar ek weet albei kan nie waar wees vir jou man nie. As hy ʼn klip
is, dan is hy jou rots; en as hy nie ʼn klip is nie, dan is hy beslis nie jou
rots nie.
So my vraag is, watter stelling is korrek ? Die van die
tradisionele huisvrou ? of die van die moderne werkende vrou ?
Ek dink dit net goed om my klippie in die water te gooi.
Destyds het huwelike langer gehou en in 1990 was die egskeidingsyfer 1.7%. In
2022 is die egskeidingsyfer sowat tussen 40-50%, afgesien van die feit dat 87
tot 88% van mans en vroue hulle eerste huwelike eindig.
Ek dink dit is duidelik dat wanneer vroue meer oplettend is aan hul mans, die
huwelik langer hou – en wanneer vroue bewus is van die feit dat mans nie klippe
is nie, blyk dit asof die huwelik langer hou. Hier is dan ʼn baie belangrike
vraag – was die tradisionele huisvrou meer gelukkig as die moderne werkende
vrou ? Miskien nie, maar daar was stabiliteit vir alles partye, insluitend die
kinders.
Ek moet bieg; in hierdie artikel word baie dinge nie beklemtoon nie – redes vir egskeidings, die rol wat mans in die huwelik speel, die verantwoordelikheid wat die man het teenoor sy vrou het vroue mishandeling.